The sharpest weapon

We say sticks and stones will break my bones, but your words will never hurt me and yet we lose so much time wallowing in their deadly sting.  Often it is a short lived pain from someone who is inconsequential in your life.  Sometimes they're words spoken that haunt.  They shape who we are for the rest of our life, a permanent scar.

The worst are those that come from someone we love.  For some reason I have yet to comprehend, as a relationship ends all too often words are uttered that are designed to cut deep.  They cause us to disbelieve all of the good and kind words the person ever spoke to us, we are no longer that beautiful, perfect being they wooed us as being.

In all things - be careful of the words you use - you never know the moment that might be captured as a permanent scar in someone else's life because of your carelessness.  Maintain grace when ending a relationship (even if the other person does not).  Do not allow the cruelty to take away beautiful memories of someone you loved.  Find opportunities to offer an unsolicited kind word.

They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. - Psalm 64:3

Lies we cling to

There are lies we tell ourselves that create havoc in our lives.  Some lies we're taught as truths when we're young, like "if a boy is mean to you he must like you".  No, this just means the boy is mean and not worth your time.  We accept the things that tear us apart like this because we believe we do not deserve better and that is the greatest lie we tell ourselves.

The greatest liar, of course, is the devil.  He will come to tell you that you are not worthy.  He will convince you that you are not... good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, thin enough, personable enough...  You will not only believe these lies, but you will repeat them to yourself like a mantra at times in your life.

It does not make them true - the fact is far from it!  You are enough.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made, perfect just the way God designed you.  So perfect in fact, he would die for you.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:14

The process of forgiveness

Forgiveness isn't easy, no doubt, but it is critical for our well being.  One of my favorite sayings on the subject is that "holding onto anger (or unforgiveness) is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die".  What all too many people do not understand about forgiveness is twofold:

First and foremost, it does not mean what the person did was okay.

Secondly, it is often a process.  When you can say to yourself "I forgive this person for what they've done" and you know it is a lie in your heart, you have to keep saying it to yourself.  As time passes, your heart will start to soften and you'll start to actually feel forgiveness and lighter.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. - Matthew 6:15

What you do when no one is looking

We are meant to give to others freely. The key here however, is not just that we give, and do so willingly, but that we don't feel the need to get glory from it.  That means you cut someone a break, send that anonymous gift, do something nice... and then you don't tell anyone about it.  This is against our very nature, but if you suppress the need to boast you will find greater joy in your act.

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. - Galatians 6:14